So here we are again… Potty Training, I never really worried about this stage when Alpha was a baby, to be honest it only really bothered me when I was told most pre schools won’t take children unless they are potty trained; and then there was some pressure to get it done! Now I am not a pressure kind of mother, he’ll do it when he’s ready, and I have learnt that you really need to make your life as easy as possible, sometimes the smallest thing can send a mother into a wailing, sleep deprived, chick flick watching, wine glugging, quite frankly hysterical maniac, and I had a feeling poo and wee all over the house might be one of those things….. so I was being a bit half hearted about it, oh we’ll just try it at home for a day or too and then see how he gets on….. hit and miss is a very appropriate phrase here…. so he would be ill and back in nappies, or we would go away for the weekend and he would be back in nappies, it’s Christmas and the prospect of big skid marks on grandmas (MIL) pristine sofa in her spotless house forces the nappies on again….. every few days we try again, much like my post baby diet…. (the baby is a year old in April…. )…….Now we visit the Pre School an adventure in it’s self (read more!!) and they say “oh don’t worry he can still wear nappies, we are fine with it”…… yey pressure is off, I go back to trying but not braving completely nappy free… and he starts Pre School and loves it, I just pop him in a nappy for the 3 hours he’s there every morning and they change him if he needs it….. but it’s all getting a bit confusing, I look around and notice all the other kids are nappy free…. then I feel bad….. like parents often do, am i damaging him?……so half term arrives, and i decide this is it, cold turkey, sans nappy, your a big boy now Alpha the conversations goes, and we do really well; in fact the proper toilet is more of a hit than the potty, the whole ritual, little seat on, trousers off, and away we go, then the prize.. you get to flush the toilet… and splash in the sink pretending to wash our hands……..3 days no accidents….. a toy car is handed over each day from daddy’s childhood collection… (enough to get us through a few more months I think) Yey I think we have cracked it! then Lee and I go out for the evening, MIL and partner babysit….. It’s only an hour or 2 till bedtime what can happen in that time I think…… well apparently a massive poo in your trousers and a wee not at the same time in the same place, no that would be too easy…. Poor Grandma tackles the fall out and I am still dealing with some of the bits that got missed….
Next day we go to a birthday party in a play center….. still braving this new nappy free lifestyle I pack spare trousers and wipes and I pop a nappy in just in case…..It’s great LP and I drink coffee, and my girlfriends coo at the baby and Alpha disappears into the massive padded play cage…. then he comes past where we are sat and waves through the net…. I see something drop out of his trouser leg, and the smell hits me, LP and I look at each other……STAY THERE ALPHA! panic what do we do, “your gonna have to go in and get him” LP said in a very mission impossible way, so shoes are off…. i squeeze my huge bottom through the holes designed for children and disappear into the depths of the climbing frame, frantically shouting Alpha in my nicest please come here, and don’t think this is a game and run away voice.. LP’s efforts to keep him in the same spot from outside failed, he was off, through ball pits and over giant foam rollers and up net walls over bridges, I am in hot pursuit and then have to turn on my negotiation skills…..eventually I manage to chase him out, he is escorted to the toilet stripped and cleaned up , nearly a whole packet of baby wipes later, less his socks that took one for the team and wearing a nappy (I caved, the image of everybody else’s children coming out in their party best covered in my child’s poo was too much) he is sent back into the climbing frame….. while I had been dealing with that LP had tried to discreetly extract the bits of Poo within reach and managed to nearly get his had stuck in the net in the process…
None of the children round the party table appeared to have any poo on them, so I think we got away with it…….
since this incident he has managed to miss the toilet several more time, but to be fair he is getting better….I don’t think you can do potty training without getting poo on your hands…..it’s just the way it is!
